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One Year Too Long

One Year Too Long

Are you fucking kidding me. I’ve whispered that to myself at LEAST 15 fucking times in the last 24 hours. Look I’ll admit, I’m not completely innocent in this story. I knew exactly who I was dealing with, but what I didn’t know was how god damn far this was going to go. Let’s backtrack, May of last year I met the sexiest and oddly intimidating guy I’ve probably ever encountered. Look, I believe in the whole “If your personality is a 4... you’re a 4” deal, but this man’s personality was a solid fucking 2.

Good news is I didn’t give a shit; I was on the hunt for classic rebound material and he fit all the criteria. Good looking, check, red flags, check, messy dating history, CHECK. I sure know how to pick them! Anyway, we started hooking up, LIKE ALOT. I’m talking.... everywhere. Sex in public restrooms, sex in a library, one time we had sex on the roof of my house. It’s safe to say... we had the hots for each other. He was my perfect summer fling, except he lasted not 1 month, not 2 months, but a whole ass YEAR. What can I say... toxic couples have the best sex and that’s why we always go back to each other.

Things were going smoothly, or as smooth as things could go for two nymphos’ who just adored creating problems with one another. We would purposely create conflict with each other because we both knew conflict led to hot, messy, makeup sex. Everything was chill on my end until two days ago. He left on a trip to Europe, which I was under the impression that he was going on with his friends. WHEN IN FUCKING REALITY HE WAS GOING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. YES, GIRLFRIEND. OF TWO YEARS. Whom I had no clue existed. Surprise! Not really.

So, yea I was the fucking side piece for a year. Look, I’m a cool girl and usually I would just let it slide and ghost him. Not this time. The gods had called upon me. Someone needed to put this boy in his place, and god damn it I was going to be the one to do it. So naturally I went back through all my memories and texts and documented everything. I then waited until they were together. In Europe. In a nightclub. I sent her a friendly little DM, but because I am myself I didn’t stop there. I attached a link to ALL the photo evidence and receipts proving our yearlong “affair”. At first she was my kinda girl. She thanked me for all the information and was being super cool. I provided her with a couple more screenshots at her request. Life was fucking great. Justice had been served. Or at least I thought justice had been served.

What you need to understand about this guy is he could talk you into believing the sky was hot pink. He’s a compulsive liar and extremely manipulative. So naturally within 24 hours I get another DM from her. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THIS BITCH SAID LMFAO. She accused me of photo shopping all my receipts and said I was a “crazy fucking liar” and to “seek professional help.” FIRST OF ALL... I may be fucking crazy but I’m not a liar. SECOND you and your boyfriend are the ones that need professional help. Perhaps a couple’s therapist to figure out why your man feels the need to stick his penis in anything with a pulse. THIRD the shit I sent her had dates on it from up to a year ago. So basically, she is insinuating that I dedicated a year of my life to creating a plethora of FAKE FUCKING SHIT to ruin her relationship. She literally told me “nice try though” LIKE NICE TRY AT WHAT? NICE TRY AT WARNING YOU? Like I’m not even that mad I was the side, I’m more mad at the fact that she completely disregarded and disrespected girl code.

LIKE WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING GIRL POWER? SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS? UMMMM.... Where is your authenticity you basic bitch? Bless her heart. They are perfect for each other! He’s a cheater, and she’s okay with being cheated on. Moral of the story is boys fucking lie and us girls have to stick together and lookout for one another. Except for her, she can go fuck herself lol.


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